Personally, I hate turkey. Bland and over-cooked most of the time, it doesn’t evoke feelings of joy when I think of it. But BBQing it, now you’re fucking talking.
Buy your turkey from a butcher, just so you can ask them to butterfly it; that means they should remove the back bone, wishbone and rib case. My sister did this for me, and well, it wasn’t a pretty sight, and she can’t eat a turkey for a while now.
I cooked this for Christmas Dinner and it was the easiest celebratory meal I’ve cooked so far.
You will need:
- One 4kg (9 pound) turkey, deboned.
- 250g (2 sticks) softened butter
- Eight cloves crushed garlic
- 2 tbsp chopped sage
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- Paprika
- Sage leaves, picked off the stem
- 2 tbsp lemon juice
- In a big ass BBQ, put all the burners on full and close the lid.
- Wash the turkey inside out and pat dry with paper towels. If you’re a shearing pro and you need to butterfly the turkey yourself, using strong shears cut down each side of the turkey backbone and discard. Cut out the wishbone and ribcage as well as the large bone near each thigh joint. Turn the turkey over and press down firmly to flatten the bird. Warning: We gave up on the scissors and used a meat cleaver. Fun in theory, not in practice.
- Cut deep slashed into the legs and thighs of the turkey. Take large skewers and pierce it through the turkey to help keep it’s shape while cooking. Place on a baking dish.

- Mix half the butter with the garlic and chopped sage. Press into the slashes in the thighs and in between the skin and the breast. Rub the bird all over with olive oil. Season ridiculously well with salt, pepper and paprika. When you feel like it’s seasoned well, season it again. The paprika gives this it’s gorgeous brown/red colour so use it freely.
- Turn off the central burners on the BBQ, this is where you’re going to place the baking dish. If you don’t do this, the bottom will burn and the top will remain uncooked. Place the turkey in this area, leaving the side burners on medium. Close the lid.
- It should take 1.5 hours to cook, but monitor as every BBQ is different. To test if it’s cooked through, pierce a thick area with a thin knife. If it feels firm, you see white meat and the juices run clear, it’s cooked through.
- Remove the turkey from the BBQ and cover loosely with foil. Rest for 20 mins. Don’t skip the resting part, it gives the flavours a whole other level of yumness.
- Melt the remaining butter in a frying pan, add the sage leaves and stir until crisp. Stir in lemon juice. Viola! Your sauce.
- Remove the skewers and cut up your turkey. It should be pretty easy since the majority of the bones are removed. Plate up, drizzle your butter, I mean sauce, over the turkey and you’re done!













Preheat your oven to 180 degree Celsius (350 Fahrenheit). Cut your pumpkin into even pieces.
Toss the pumpkin in a baking tray with salt, pepper and olive oil.
Check on your pumpkin in 45 mins. If you can easily pierce it with a fork, it’s done. Set aside.
Mince three cloves of garlic. Melt butter over medium heat in a saucepan. Add garlic, sizzle and stir for half a minute.
Add the frozen or fresh spinach and stir until wilted. Add a couple of squeezes of lemon. Set aside, separate from the pumpkin.
Bring at least a liter of water to the boil. Add a pinch of salt and the pasta. I used my big pot the night before to make chicken soup and it was still in the fridge, hosting the leftovers. Whoops. So, I cooked my pasta in a wok. Should have been a Girls’ Scout with resourcefulness like that.
Measure out your 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 cup butter. You need to be real specific about this. We’re making a roux, which is harder to pronounce than do.
Completely melt your butter then add the flour and mix furiously with a wooden spoon.
Keep mixing until it turns slightly brown and smells like nutmeg. Check on the pasta, making sure it’s just done, drain when it’s cooked.
Add roughly a cup of milk to the roux and using a whisk, stir furiously until lumps are gone. Add the spinach mixture and a handful of cheese. You should have a slightly runny consistency, like thick cream. If not, add more milk and whisk, baby, whisk. Take the white sauce off the heat.
Gently mix the spinach white sauce and pasta in a pan. Bung it into a bowl, sprinkle pumpkin and pine nuts on top. Be careful when mixing the pumpkin because it can break easily. Season with salt and pepper.
