Buy your turkey from a butcher, just so you can ask them to butterfly it; that means they should remove the back bone, wishbone and rib case. My sister did this for me, and well, it wasn’t a pretty sight, and she can’t eat a turkey for a while now.

I cooked this for Christmas Dinner and it was the easiest celebratory meal I’ve cooked so far.

You will need:

• One 4kg (9 pound) turkey, deboned.
• 250g (2 sticks) softened butter
• Eight cloves crushed garlic
• 2 tbsp chopped sage
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• Paprika
• Sage leaves, picked off the stem
• 2 tbsp lemon juice

1. In a big ass BBQ, put all the burners on full and close the lid.
2. Wash the turkey inside out and pat dry with paper towels. If you’re a shearing pro and you need to butterfly the turkey yourself, using strong shears cut down each side of the turkey backbone and discard. Cut out the wishbone and ribcage as well as the large bone near each thigh joint. Turn the turkey over and press down firmly to flatten the bird. Warning: We gave up on the scissors and used a meat cleaver. Fun in theory, not in practice.
3. Cut deep slashed into the legs and thighs of the turkey. Take large skewers and pierce it through the turkey to help keep it’s shape while cooking. Place on a baking dish.
   
4. Mix half the butter with the garlic and chopped sage. Press into the slashes in the thighs and in between the skin and the breast. Rub the bird all over with olive oil. Season ridiculously well with salt, pepper and paprika. When you feel like it’s seasoned well, season it again. The paprika gives this it’s gorgeous brown/red colour so use it freely.
5. Turn off the central burners on the BBQ, this is where you’re going to place the baking dish. If you don’t do this, the bottom will burn and the top will remain uncooked. Place the turkey in this area, leaving the side burners on medium. Close the lid.
6. It should take 1.5 hours to cook, but monitor as every BBQ is different. To test if it’s cooked through, pierce a thick area with a thin knife. If it feels firm, you see white meat and the juices run clear, it’s cooked through.
7. Remove the turkey from the BBQ and cover loosely with foil. Rest for 20 mins. Don’t skip the resting part, it gives the flavours a whole other level of yumness.
8. Melt the remaining butter in a frying pan, add the sage leaves and stir until crisp. Stir in lemon juice. Viola! Your sauce.
9. Remove the skewers and cut up your turkey. It should be pretty easy since the majority of the bones are removed. Plate up, drizzle your butter, I mean sauce, over the turkey and you’re done!

I got this recipe from the kind chef at the L.A Museum of Art’s cafe. It’s pretty basic but I think what makes this magic is simmering the wine until it’s syrupy.

• Stew beef (anything with fat running through it), cubed
• Bottle of red
• Onions, carrots, potatoes and any root veg you have lying around, roughly chopped.
• Store-bought beef stock or three cups of homemade stock

1. Get a big pot, add a little, little bit of olive oil and when the temperature is on high, brown your cubed meat. Do it in batches if there’s heaps.
2. Take out the beef and set aside. Turn the heat down to low, add the veg and stir on low until the brown bits of the beef come of the bottom of the pan.
3. Add two cups of red wine. Drink the rest, if you’re into that. Simmer until the wine is almost halfed and syrupy. Don’t boil otherwise your veg would turn into mash.
4. Add the stock and add enough water so everything is covered. If you’re using store-bought stock, don’t add salt but add pepper.
5. Bring to the boil until the sauce thickens and then simmer for two hours, at least. The longer, the better. Serve with some crusty bread.

• three strips of bacon per person (unless you’re using non-American bacon, in which case use two)
• buns cut in half or lightly toasted bread
• one overtly ripe tomato, washed and sliced. Remember to smell your tomatoes at the market. The more they smell like tomato, the better it will taste. No smell = no taste.
• rocket (arugula) lettuce
• sliced onion
• four tablespoons of good mayo
• 1 clove garlic
• half a lemon
• salt & pepper

1. Slice your onions and tomatoes.
2. Turn a pan to medium and fry up the bacon until it’s brown and crispy. Leave to drain on absorbent paper.
3. Dice the clove of garlic very finely. When you think it can’t get any smaller, add a sprinkle of salt (which draws out the moisture) and dice until it’s practically smooth.
4. In a small bowl, mix half the garlic clove, four tablespoons of mayo and salt and pepper. Add a quick squeeze of lemon juice. Adjust to taste.
5. Smooth some of the garlic mayo onto the bottom of your sandwich, add the salad, then tomatoes, onions and bacon. Add some garlic mayo on the top of your bun and bob’s your uncle. Eat promptly.

The funny thing about our making-of; I had my wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday. Come Thursday, I was all gung ho to eat some real food. I made the mashed potato but then the pain killers I took an hour ago kicked in and I was stuck on the couch while W. took over. I couldn’t even drain the potatoes. My hand-eye co-ordination was that whacked out. Those American drugs eh. The plus side, I was assured W. can still follow a recipe and I haven’t turned his brain to gobblegook.

The best thing is, this is such a week day meal. Quick and satisfying. I was a bit hesitant of adding two onions to five sausages but it was great. It caramelises down to a yum sauce.

Prep time – 10 minutes
Cook time – 25 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 450g good quality pork sausages
• 2 onions, sliced
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1 tsp fennel seeds
• 100g/4oz red grapes
• 2 tbsp red wine vinegar (balsamic will do in a fix)
• Pre-made mashed potato made any way you like

Directions:

1. Heat olive oil in large frying pan set over a medium heat. Tip in sausages, cook for 10 mins over medium/high heat, turning every so often. Stir in onions, then leave to cook five mins more until sausages are browned and onions are softened.
2. Add minced garlic, fennel seeds & grapes and cook for 5 more minutes, stirring often. The grapes should start to soften. Pour over vinegar and swirl aroud pan (The fancy word for this is deglazing). Cook for a few more minutes until onions are sticky.
3. Serve with reheated mash.